Have you ever read a self-development book and felt so inspired by the person’s message that you wanted to start implementing change into your life as of yesterday? Or maybe you listened to a podcast and heard about how “Joe Smith” built his empire by doing XYZ and you were like “If he can do it…I know I can too!” Or maybe you attended an event that got you so pumped up – you couldn’t wait to get home to start that project/launch that business/take action on that dream.
And then…days, weeks, YEARS go by and you are in the exact same spot as you were? Stuck in life’s quicksand and not one step closer to that better life that only seems to exist in your dreams.
Why is this? What keeps people from actually executing on their dreams? Here is it is….boiled down to two concrete blocks.
#1 We are terrified of feedback. What can happen if you start taking risks, stepping out of your comfy little bubble, and going after BIG and amazing things? People are going to have an opinion about it. We may be judged. Ridiculed. Disagreed with. This is especially true if our dreams include helping other people. I had a client once ask me “What if I am coaching someone and they don’t resonate with what I’m saying?”. Fear of feedback. For the longest time I had put off writing my book. Why? Fear of feedback. We are so damn worried about what other people think it paralyzes us into not doing the things that we want to do. The things that we are put on this earth to do! So instead, we blow our time on watching Netflix and scrolling Facebook.
They say that failure is one of our biggest fears…I have to disagree. It’s the fear of the FEEDBACK we will get from others if we fail is what we are truly scared if. The difference between you and that person who has already “made it” doing what you want to be doing? They said “Fuck it” and kept going anyway. Their desire for achievement was greater than their fear of feedback. This is not some “holy trait” that is achievable by a few lucky people. Anyone can decide at any moment that their want is so strong that they are willing to put themselves in the line of fire of feedback. Will there be negative comments? Absolutely. Especially if you are stepping into the spotlight and even more so if you’re trying to make an impact. Some of this negative feedback will be learning experiences that you can grow from…and some will be irrelevant BS. If you know to expect it, then it’s not so bad when it happens. Personally, I like to focus on the people that will suffer if I don’t follow my dream. How selfish would I have been if I let my fear of other people’s opinions overtake my desire to build SPARK? The point…your dream is not always about YOU. The ripple effect of change caused by you going after your purpose is way bigger than you’ll ever even know.
#2 You don’t believe it can happen for you. Those motivating stories from people who have “made it” are great…but when it comes down to it, the biggest block to it happening is the fact that deep down…you don’t think it’s possible for you. Why? We are limited by our own expectations of ourselves based off the stories and beliefs we have picked up since we were kids.
“I failed at XYZ so I will fail at everything”
“I’m not good enough on video”
“I’m not smart enough”
“I wasn’t born with that kind of talent”
“I’m not a writer (a singer, a dancer, an entrepreneur””
“I don’t have enough money”
It doesn’t matter where you picked this limiting mindset up – what matters is that you give it it’s eviction notice and tell it that it no longer has a place in your brain to call home. Listen up. Everything that you are seeking is also seeking you (A quote from Rumi). Your beliefs that it can’t happen for you are 100% bullshit. The good news is your beliefs can be changed – by YOU, and only you. One of the reasons I love the show Impact Theory so much is because you get to hear the stories about how high-achievers got to where they are today. 99.9% of them started out just like you – a regular person with a calling to do something more with their life. And they acted on it. They struggled with doubts, fear, and mistakes along the journey – but they kept going. They are not super humans – just normal people. So why not you? Why not now?
Life is a collection of fleeting moments based off of small decisions that we make on a daily basis…and life is passing you by if you’re not making the decision daily to take action on your dreams. So instead of being in doubt or embarrassed about what people will think – start believing, truly believing that everything you want is possible. Because it is. All of it. Someday the story of “how you made it” will be the one inspiring others to believe in themselves.
original post October 29, 2018